It’s almost nine o’clock at night. You’ve asked me to “rock minute”. And I am happy.

You won’t sleep in your bed. You sleep with me instead. And I am happy.

You want only me when you get home from a long day of school. And I am happy.

You are growing. One day you will not need me for sleeping or want me at the end of a long day. One day you won’t want to “rock minute”. And I will still be happy. I will be proud of the man you become.

But for now. I rock you in my arms as you nurse to sleep and I cherish it. Because one night, just like tonight, it will be the last time.

Tomorrow you will be two years old.

This past year has tested us. It has tested you. You slept in your bed. You night-weaned. But you knew somehow Mommy would be back. And the night I came back to my bed after being in the guest room downstairs to recover from my injury after breaking both legs, you refused to sleep through the night. You wanted me and somehow you knew I was once again able to be there for you. And I welcomed you with open arms back into our bed where you belonged all along. You somehow knew that you needing me would heal me on another level after the physical part was complete. You knew I needed you and you needed me too. After the heartbreaking nights of hearing you cry for me and me knowing I couldn’t be there for you, I’m so thankful you came back.

Thank you for being my love bug. Thank you for healing me in a way I didn’t know I needed to be healed.

Most of all thank you for being the funny, kind, resilient, tenacious, brave, witty, smart little boy you are. Never stop being brave and never stop laughing and loving your sister. Your love for her is like nothing I have ever seen. Your desire to be with her, like her, and learn from her is everything I ever dreamed of. Never stop being curious and loving and never stop watching your daddy because he will teach you what a good man should be. You are so so blessed to have such a wonderful role model to look up to as you become the man you are meant to be.

I love you my handsome cuddle bug, my love bug. Happy Birthday to you. Thank you for choosing me.


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