Where were you?

Economics class, senior year.

Last night I asked my husband where he was. He was in that same class. I never knew it until that moment last night in bed as we said good night and our “I love you”s. (We weren’t in the same circle of friends in high school, and only really connected in college before we started dating).

It made me sad as I remembered that moment 18 years ago. Sad that my future husband was right next to me, scared, and I wasn’t aware. Sad that we weren’t close enough to embrace and bring comfort to one another at that moment in our lives.

I wonder though, if our souls knew we were destined for one another and were embracing without us knowing. Is that what it means to be “soul mates,” I wonder? That our souls are connected long before our physical selves get with the program? I’ve always felt a strong spiritual connection to him, and when we did connect it was like meeting up with an old friend.

We’ve been together 15 years now (married 5) and just had our second child.

Each year all the emotions of that day flood over me all over again. Panic that my mom was in the city and frantically trying to find a cell phone to call her (before cells were a normal accessory for a high schooler) and fear that there would be more attacks, and the very real understanding that we are not invincible (I think that’s still sinking in to this day).

But after I’ve thought about it some more, it’s rather comforting to know that my person, my protector of our family, our rock was there with me as we both witnessed one of the worst days in our nation’s history.

We are both remembering all the lives lost today. And I dread when we have to tell the story to our children one day. And we hope to God they never have a similar one in their lifetime.


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